I Want To Be Like My Friend's Friend


I want to be like my friend’s friend.  But he’s average.  Maybe just below average.  

My friend introduced me to his friend when we bumped into him in public.  This is what I thought during the first 30 seconds of meeting the friend:

  • Shoot.  He has a lazy eye.  Which one do I look at?  
  • His face looks a little abnormal.  Interesting.
  • He’s not funny.
  • He’s not charismatic.
  • He’s not athletic.
  • Nothing to envy here.
  • He does that for work?
  • He probably thinks I’m really cool.
  • Uh…this guy has nothing to offer me.
  • Let’s go eat.  I have no desire to know this guy.  

I can be a selfish narcissist sometimes!

As the conversation continued, I could feel things change.  At first I couldn’t put my finger on it.  But then I recognized it.  The love of God permeates from this man!  I found myself enjoying his goodness and I knew I was interacting with a genuinely humble person.  Something told me THIS is what I should be working for.  

So what’s the big deal?    

Some things Are Faked - Whether in person or social media, I try to be better, happier, more successful, and more attractive.  And if it doesn’t get the reaction or praise I sometimes vainly seek, then I’ll fake it.  I’ll fake my character and motives through:

  • Taking pictures at the perfect angle to look the most attractive and fit
  • Posting the best “look how fun/successful/hard working I am” in FB/Instagram posts
  • Posting a fitness pic to show I have “determination” when it’s jealously/praises from others I’m seeking
  • Being extra charismatic & yet leave a trail of enemies behind me
  • Selecting only “popular” people to associate with

Some things Can’t Be Faked – I have become great at sometimes using my strengths and talents in painting a fake facade; painting what I want people to see.  But it’s difficult to fake the love of God.  We may attempt to fake it through an incredible personality or amazing talents, but people can tell.  

The Bottom Line – Contrast for a moment the energy exchanged between me and my friend’s friend.  

  • Me – Does this guy have anything to offer me in approval or praise?  If he does, is my real self enough or do I need to paint a facade?  I want people to look at me and say "Wow!"
  • Friend’s friend – Is himself and naturally permeates the love of God which he possesses.  Shows no signs of seeking approval or to impress.  Interacting with my friend's friend directed me towards being humble and towards God, not him.