Let Me Vent: How Depressing
Living in a Mormon faith where it’s taught that marriage and sexual relations is to be only between a man and woman, I’ve often and with great pain asked: “How do I, a gay Mormon, find happiness in God’s Plan of Happiness?
I hear married members express how happy the Gospel of Jesus Christ makes them and that they are grateful for the Plan of Salvation and eternal families. They’ll even go onto say that the blessings of eternal families is what “keeps them going.” Ugh.
I can't see myself marrying a woman in this life or the next. And I want to punch people who with the best intentions say, “If you live a chaste and faithful life, all blessing denied you now will be given to you in the next life. Or “keep your covenants and God will work out your gay attractions in the next life and you’ll eventually be with a woman and kiddos forever.
Honestly, what a depressing motivating factor for me to keep the faith or live a celibate life! Don’t get me wrong. I love kids. I love my nieces and nephews. But the whole wife thing in the afterlife… I can’t grasp it. So I ask the question again: How do I, as a gay Mormon, find happiness in God’s Plan of Happiness?
Some Things I Have Faith In
For me to find answers to this valid question, I had to gain rudimentary faith in the following:
- God the Creator, Christ my Redeemer, and the Holy Ghost the Revelator
- The blessings of eternal life with God is greater than anything or any relationship I could have in this life (1 Corinthians 2:9)
- God wants to teach me today how to find happiness in His Plan of Happiness now (Luke 11:9)
- That my gay attractions will be reconciled with perfect understanding and joy in the next life (D&C 76:12, 78:17-22)
Focus on True Worship, Not The Unrevealed
Speculating and complaining about unrevealed truths can rob us happiness. It’s one of Satan’s great vices. To find happiness in God’s Plan of Happiness today, we must learn to worship God to our best ability according to the truth and knowledge we have received.
3 Things For True Worship
True worship is when we:
- Love God
- Follow God
- Emulate God
We can find happiness in God’s Plan of Happiness because when:
- We love God – We have greater ability to feel God’s love
- We follow God – We better qualify to gain confidence and revelation from God
- We emulate God – We are sanctified and made clean through the atonement, which brings joy to the soul.
Even though I can't comprehend all the "now" and "eternal" things and how I fit it them, I can find happiness through true worship and emulation. I wish I could more often remember Christ's words recorded in Doctrine & Covenants 78:
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.