Why Romantic Love Should Be Choked Out


The Grass
Generally, lawn planting mixes contain at least 2 different species.  One specie sprouts easily and quickly; giving the appearance of a beautiful lawn.  But soon walk on it and you’ll find it’s terrible grass because it’s anything but soft.  The second specie sprouts and grows much slower but produces the best lawn.  The rational?

The fast-growing grass creates the growing environment for the slow-growing grass to take hold.  Without it, the slow-growing grass would have a difficult time even germinating.  But given enough time and care, the slow-growing grass grows so full and thick that it eventually chokes out the fast-growing grass completely.  Thus, creating a soft and full beautiful lawn.

I think romantic love is the same way.  I believe God created romantic love to bring 2 people together.  That it’s purpose was to foster an environment where God-like love could grow.  I also believe that as God-like love grows, it eventually chokes out the romantic love.  Thus, creating a purer and eternal lasting relationship.  I believe God is more concerned about building and blessing the God-live love than He is the romantic love.

Near Death Experiences
Since my mother’s suicide, I have read dozens of stories of people’s near-death experiences.  Some I believe are true and others I don’t.  Though not all stories are the exact the same, most emphatically talk about the love that exists in heaven.  It’s a love they say words can’t describe and nothing can be compared to in this life.  In his book, ‘Proof of Heaven’, Dr. Eben Alexander writes of experiencing love in heaven while he was in a coma for 7 days: “It was not a romantic look, it was not a look of friendship, it was a look that was somehow beyond all these, beyond all the different types of love we have down here on earth.  It was something higher.”

Love One Another
I’m beginning to have a paradigm shift of what I believe relationships look like in heaven.  We compartmentalize our relationships and the kind of love: family love, brotherly love, friendship love, romantic love.  Even the Greeks came up with their 4 types of love: storge, eros, philia, and agape.  

For me, I believe that all types of love will eventually be choked out as we develop Christ-like love.  Christ himself said,

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”  John 13:34

If we are to love one another as Christ loves us, then it must be stripped of everything unholy and made pure.