Getting Through The Next 10 Years

I very clearly remember my thought process as I entered my family's home on June 8th, 2004. I can't even begin describe the wave of emotion because of what I seeing, feeling and even smelling. My soul could not keep up with my mind as I walked through the house and came to the realization that our home was no longer habitable, so many things destroyed, and most painful, seeing this was the way my mother chose to end her life.

 
 

I kept thinking, "How do we move forward? This hurts so much. How will we get through this week? This year? I can't even image getting through the next 10 years". Well, year 10 came this year. 

There were times I witnessed my dad sobbing at the kitchen table as he willfully accepted his cross to bear through this. And more than once, I walked into my dad's bedroom unannounced and found him on his knees quietly talking with God in prayer. I would stop for split second and witness the father/son relationship as my father surrendered his will to Father in heaven's.

Those were painful days. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausting days. But God mourned with us. And even though MANY times we felt utterly alone and sometimes hopeless, sweet comfort every so often would come to bear us up. Thanks be to God and our Savior Jesus Christ.