Of all my questions in attempting to live a chaste life as a gay Mormon, there is one that has pained me the most physically, emotionally and spiritually. A pain that I best describe as a dull suffocation of love and connection. From my God to my trusted friends I ask, who will cuddle me?
What do you do when you have a dream that someone you know on the other side of the world gets cancer, dies, and you attend the funeral? That’s exactly what happened to me a few years ago. I awoke from the dream thinking, ‘even if this person were to die from cancer, who would notify me of such an event?”
Is it wrong that I struggle with being faithful? No. I’m human. It’s about making small improvements and getting back on my feet when I fall. It’s about not passing final judgement on myself or others. God hasn’t given out final judgements. Why do I often give out a final crappy judgement for myself that I’m not heaven material? What a waste of thinking.
...I was standing face to face with the meanest, the ugliest, the most ferocious wolf I had ever seen. And our noses were only inches apart. This monster of an animal was growling and gnashing its teeth that were specifically designed to shred its kill. It lunged tirelessly at me while its dripping saliva splattered my face. It was the closest I had ever been to so much hatred and pure evil. And It was trying to kill me.
I believe God created romantic love to bring 2 people together. That it’s purpose was to foster an environment where God-like love could grow. I also believe that as God-like love grows, it eventually chokes out the romantic love. Thus, creating a purer and eternal lasting relationship. I believe God is more concerned about building and blessing the God-live love than He is the romantic love.
That title is correct. Feeling down? Don't bless your food. I was in Taiwan teaching English to a Buddhist family and discussing typical daily prayers in the USA. They were confused when they learned we asked God to bless our food. They asked, "Why? Is your food poisoned? We would think your food is safe to eat in America." That simple question changed my "Blessing on the food" the rest of my life.
10 years ago, I walked to the back of the long line at the post office during the busy shipping season of Christmas. An elderly lady soon entered the store, picked up a shipping box and stood to the side of the line. I said to myself, “To the back of the line old lady. We all have places to go. No cutting.”
"You have made my day. I only get calls when customers are complaining. They never take the time to say what a good job we are trying to do or the fact you waited on hold for 2 minutes just to say all this means so much. Bhargav has only been here for a few weeks so this will be very good to pass onto upper management for him."