My mind wasn’t thinking anything as I sat there. Not even aware, I was biting my bottom lip harder and harder. It was coming. I jumped up and ran to my truck just in time to close its doors and burst into tears. Just painful gut sobs.
What do you do when you have a dream that someone you know on the other side of the world gets cancer, dies, and you attend the funeral? That’s exactly what happened to me a few years ago. I awoke from the dream thinking, ‘even if this person were to die from cancer, who would notify me of such an event?”
Is it wrong that I struggle with being faithful? No. I’m human. It’s about making small improvements and getting back on my feet when I fall. It’s about not passing final judgement on myself or others. God hasn’t given out final judgements. Why do I often give out a final crappy judgement for myself that I’m not heaven material? What a waste of thinking.
...I was standing face to face with the meanest, the ugliest, the most ferocious wolf I had ever seen. And our noses were only inches apart. This monster of an animal was growling and gnashing its teeth that were specifically designed to shred its kill. It lunged tirelessly at me while its dripping saliva splattered my face. It was the closest I had ever been to so much hatred and pure evil. And It was trying to kill me.
I believe God created romantic love to bring 2 people together. That it’s purpose was to foster an environment where God-like love could grow. I also believe that as God-like love grows, it eventually chokes out the romantic love. Thus, creating a purer and eternal lasting relationship. I believe God is more concerned about building and blessing the God-live love than He is the romantic love.
“If we are more mindful of those relationships, if we do our best to reach out to others in ways that lift them, if we treat them as the potentially divine beings they are, and if their joys and sorrows become our joys and sorrows, then our lives will be more productive and more joyful. We will be filled with the love of Christ, and we will grow closer to Him, with the promise “that when he shall appear we shall be like him.” - President Kevin J Worthen
That title is correct. Feeling down? Don't bless your food. I was in Taiwan teaching English to a Buddhist family and discussing typical daily prayers in the USA. They were confused when they learned we asked God to bless our food. They asked, "Why? Is your food poisoned? We would think your food is safe to eat in America." That simple question changed my "Blessing on the food" the rest of my life.
Those sitting at the table become silent, not knowing what to answer. The awkward tension is almost tangible. Looking purposefully into their eyes I ask, “How is any gay member expected to stay at this table we call the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Surely it can’t be maintained long term for any of us in this situation!”