Lost My Desire To Live???


Recently I told family and close friends I lost my desire to live.  Their faces turned to shock and concern as they assumed I was suicidal.  But suicide was far from my mind.  I wasn’t depressed or miserable.  I was actually mentally and emotionally healthy & content.  But there was an absence of joy and peace and the feeling that my life had purpose.

I’m addicted to goals, self-improvement, and to-do lists; it’s my attempt to live a full life.  I’ve even ridiculously framed my own mission statement, creed, and “What I Hope Is Said About Me At My Funeral” near my front door.  Who does this?  A demented overachiever wanna be like myself.

In accounting, ratio analysis is a surface level approach to look for or understand financial problems.  I applied this same concept to areas of my life that supposedly bring joy and peace.  I then compared the ratio of actual time spent to what I felt were healthy goals.  Here are the results:


Quick analysis:  
•    Exercising
•    Connecting with family and friends
•    Completing work and church assignments 
•    Serving others
•    Discipline in diet and sleeping patterns

•    Communicating with God
•    Taking time to be holy

My strengths are important for a healthy emotional and mental me and would seem to bring joy and peace.  But the analysis shows I’ve almost completely neglected my personal time with God.  Freak, I then realized lately my blog shows I’m one of those who “draw near [to the lord] with their mouth, and with their lips do honour [Him], but have removed their heart far from [Him] (Isaiah 29:13).  

Let’s look at the numbers in a different way:


The numbers speak for themselves.  

The Bottom Line I’m Learning For Maintaining Desire To live:
•    Balance is critical between the spiritual and the physical side of things
•    God and spiritual things must top priority; not last priority
•    We may be adding more to the 100%’s when we should be adding to the 0%’s in our lives.