Recently I told family and close friends I lost my desire to live. Their faces turned to shock and concern as they assumed I was suicidal. But suicide was far from my mind. I wasn’t depressed or miserable. I was actually mentally and emotionally healthy & content. But there was an absence of joy and peace and the feeling that my life had purpose.
I’m addicted to goals, self-improvement, and to-do lists; it’s my attempt to live a full life. I’ve even ridiculously framed my own mission statement, creed, and “What I Hope Is Said About Me At My Funeral” near my front door. Who does this? A demented overachiever wanna be like myself.
In accounting, ratio analysis is a surface level approach to look for or understand financial problems. I applied this same concept to areas of my life that supposedly bring joy and peace. I then compared the ratio of actual time spent to what I felt were healthy goals. Here are the results:
• Connecting with family and friends
• Completing work and church assignments
• Serving others
• Discipline in diet and sleeping patterns
• Communicating with God
• Taking time to be holy
My strengths are important for a healthy emotional and mental me and would seem to bring joy and peace. But the analysis shows I’ve almost completely neglected my personal time with God. Freak, I then realized lately my blog shows I’m one of those who “draw near [to the lord] with their mouth, and with their lips do honour [Him], but have removed their heart far from [Him] (Isaiah 29:13).
Let’s look at the numbers in a different way:
The numbers speak for themselves.
The Bottom Line I’m Learning For Maintaining Desire To live:
• Balance is critical between the spiritual and the physical side of things
• God and spiritual things must top priority; not last priority
• We may be adding more to the 100%’s when we should be adding to the 0%’s in our lives.